In the past few years, nearly all of us have been flooded with teachings and advice on "communication" including constructive criticism. Yet in our relationships with others, how do you criticize someone constructively?

You may have spent many sleepless nights wondering how to tell someone you're angry, offended or upset at something they did. Unfortunately, after losing valuable rest, you probably ended up handling it in one of two ways: either by expressing yourself to them in a way that hurt them and made things worse, or by saying nothing and hoping the problem would go away.

Neither of these reflects God's way of constructively confronting others. He does not want you "emotionally uploading" on others, but neither does He want you to be a "doormat." His solution is using a combination of what He calls "mercy and truth" to make all confrontations constructive. The two go hand-in-hand. If you exercise mercy (compassion and forbearance) without truth, the issue may never be resolved. On the other hand, truth without mercy can be cruel.

One proverb says that it is through mercy and truth that iniquity are purged (Proverbs 16:6). Therefore, "Let not mercy and truth forsake you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart, And so find favor and high esteem In the sight of God and man" (Proverbs 3:3-4, NKJV).

Resolve to confront - but in God's way. In doing so, you gain the love and respect of a brother.

Heavenly Father, thank you for being the God of not only balance, but of change. Help me to understand how to use both mercy and truth in a new way that will help others grow. Write Your way of communicating on the tablet of my heart, and strengthen me so that my relationships will not be hindered either by verbal assaults or refusals to confront. In Jesus' Name, Amen.